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Character Spotlight: Braum
The Braum Workout

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The goats are wise!  Eat everything!  Climb everything! And if something kicks you, kick it back!

Name: Braum, the Heart of the Freljord

Game: League of Legends

Skill/Attributes:

• Helpful
• Strong
• Durable
• Protective
• Holy crap giant-ass door shield
• Mustache

Overview:

Braum is the newest champions from League of Legends!  I freaking love this guy, so although we frequently do characters more ensconced in the hallowed halls of gaming, we’re going to make an exception for him.  Braum’s obviously a big dude, so we’re gonna stick him in the tank archetype, and what’s really awesome is he’s our first true paladin – a tank whose sole motivation is to watch over his teammates!

For those who don’t play LoL, the Freljord, where Braum hails from, is the Nordic-inspired northern reach of Runeterra, full of ice, snow, and strange frozen beasties.  Occupied by three different tribes, many of the Freljord’s denizens are cool towards others, or even outright hostile.  Braum, however, goes against the grain in this regard.  Let’s take a look at what makes him tick!

Concussive Blows

“Today we fight each other. Tomorrow, we may fight together.”

Braum’s strikes are outright stunning (puns of damage!)  His in-game passive gives him the ability to lock down his opponents by beating them about the head and shoulders (sometimes with his head and shoulders!)  As such, I would definitely recommend boxing as a potential martial art to study.  Braum’s definitely got the build and striking capabilities of a heavyweight boxer.  Alternatively, combat sambo would also be a nice fit, though it involves a bit more grappling than Braum does (at least in game).

To Deadlift the World

“Troublemaker toss is best game.”

Braum rips entire trees out of the ground.  Braum single-handedly stops avalanches.  Braum punches through a freaking mountain.  Obviously, this is a BIT much to expect in real life, but who’s to say we can’t aspire to greatness?  Taking our cue from Braum we’re going to be moving out into the big wide world for our fitness training this time, getting huge by lifting the world.  Oh yeah, a door may be involved, too.  Maybe.

The Heart of the Freljord

“The heart is the strongest muscle.”

Braum is huge.  His unbreakable door shield is also huge.  They’re both very physically intimidating.  Braum’s personality is equally huge, though, and his boisterous, unquenchable spirit is infectious.  He leaps to the aid of his allies, delivering them from adversity and bearing the brunt of his foes attacks with his massive shoulders.  His feats have become legend in the village he hails from, and while normally one could chalk that up to “big fish in a little pond” syndrome, Braum is definitely a big fish no matter what pond he finds himself in.

You’ve probably met larger-than-life characters like this before.  If you aspire to be like one, you need to make a conscious effort towards it.  Help those in need.  This doesn’t mean do everything everyone asks of you all the time (it’s very easy to wear yourself out this way), but if someone genuinely needs help, then put yourself in their corner.  Don’t become a victim of the “bystander effect.”

I frequently tell you to live boldly (at least once every blog post and email).  This is evident more in Braum than almost any other character I’ve profiled.  Like everything else in life, living boldly comes easier with practice.  Frequently, the easiest way to evaluate how boldly you’re living is to think about how often you say “yes.”  Now, of course, you want to be smart about the choices you make in life.  That said, more often than not, saying “yes”  can lead to a more interesting, bold, and exciting life.  Sure, you may incur a few more bruises, and sometimes a few more responsibilities, and heck, you may even end up doing a bit more work than you typically do.  But, more often than not, your life will become more enriched, and more fulfilling.

The Manliest of Mustaches

Yup.

So that’s it for today!  Check back on Friday for The Braum Workout!  Until then, live Braumly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace

PS: I wanted to post every freaking Braum quote here, but of course that would look silly.  They’re all fantastic, though.  Go here to see and hear them: http://leagueoflegends.wikia.com/wiki/Braum/Background

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Tracer’s an extremely agile character, and we definitely want to reflect that in her workouts.  We want to build a body that’s explosive, evasive, and extremely high energy.  As such, we’re going to be working some plyometric stuff into the higher levels, and doing a lot of bodyweight exercises with high repetitions to help reinforce good body management technique.  This is a pseudo-gymnast style workout, with some extra stuff thrown in there.  It’s not built for size, so we’re not really going heavy in the weights, instead you’re going to end up with a very sleek, toned body, build for speed and agility.

As with all workouts, make sure you Warm Up before exercising, and Cool Down afterwards.  For dietary concerns, make sure you check out Macros and You! and The Fighter Diet.

Note: This workout, like most, is split into four tiers in order to easily plug into the RPG Fitness workout system.

Equipment Required:Pull Up Bar
Chair

Workout Style: Circuit – Perform one set of each exercise without resting in between, then rest for 90 seconds.  Repeat until all prescribed sets are complete.

Strength

Tier 1 (Beginner):

3×3-5 Chair-Assisted Pull Ups 3×3-5 Kneeling Push Ups 3×3-5 Bodyweight Squats 3×3-5 Bodyweight Lunges (each side)

3×3-5 Calf Raises

3 Planks (hold for 5-10 seconds)
3 Supermans (hold for 5-10 seconds)

Tier 2 (Intermediate):

3×3-5 Pull Ups 3×5-10 Push Ups 3×5-10 Bodyweight Squats 3×3-5 Bodyweight Lunges

3×5-10 One-Legged Calf Raises

5×3-5 Hanging Bent-Knee Leg Raise

3 Planks (hold for 10-20 seconds)

3 Supermans (hold for 10-20 seconds)

Tier 3 (Advanced):

5×5-10 Pull Ups 5×5-10 Push Ups

5×3-5 Pistol Squats

5×5-10 Jumping Lunges

5×15-25 Calf Bounces

5×5-10 Bent-Knee Leg Raise

5 Planks (hold for 20-30 seconds)

5 Supermans (hold for 20-30 seconds)

Tier 4 (Tracer):

5×10-20 Pull Ups 5×10-20 Push Ups

5×5-10 Pistol Squats

5×5-10 Jumping Lunges
5×5-10 Tuck Jumps
5×15-25 One-legged Calf Bounces 5×5-10 Toes-To-Bar

5 Planks (hold for 30-60 seconds)

5 Supermans (hold for 30-60 seconds)

Strength Notes: This is pretty standard stuff for the most part, but if you’re not sure about how to do supermans check this out.  We’re going to build a super-strong core to help hold your body together when skipping through time, and help keep you under control when you’re dodging enemy fire with acrobatic maneuvers!

Cardio

Tier 1 (Beginner):

30 minute walk/jog

Tier 2 (Intermediate):

30 minute jog (light pace, just keep moving)

Tier 3 (Advanced):

30 minute jog
2 minute Tabata Interval Sprints (sprint for 20 seconds, rest for 10, repeat 4 times)

Tier 4: (Tracer):

30 minute jog
4 minute Tabata Interval Sprints (sprint for 20 seconds, rest for 10, repeat 8 times)

Cardio Notes:

We want to build our cardio up so we can last through the entire battle.  We also want to be fast enough to get to the enemy back line and do our job as a ranged assassin.  Feel free to incorporate the Tabata interval sprints earlier than Tier 3 if you feel up for it!

Schedule:

Day 1: Strength Day 2: Cardio Day 3: Rest Day 4: Strength Day 5: Cardio Day 6: Strength

Day 7: Rest

Schedule Notes:
As usual, if you feel like you need an extra rest day, take it.  I’d recommend on Day 6.  This is especially important when you’re just starting out.

That’s it for the Tracer Workout!  I’ll see you tomorrow over on the YouTube channel with our weekly Q&A Tuesday!  Our next Tracer post is on Thursday, with Time Traveling for Dummies!

Live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace

579 blog posts.

440,000 words

398 videos.

8 years.

It’s been a long road, folks.  But I feel the road is coming to an end.  I’m sure you’ve all noticed the blog posts becoming more and more infrequent, video posts being basically nonexistent…the fact is, I’m kind of done.  Not burned out, or fried, just…done.  I think I’ve said and written all I have to say on the subject of becoming real life video game characters.

Obviously I was never going to cover every video game character in existence, but at this point I’ve written up so many different workouts for so many different characters that I don’t think I could write another one without repeating something I’ve already done.  If you have a character you want to see still, comment on this post and I will point you towards which character workout I’ve already written that you should do for that character.  I just don’t want to stretch this out by forcing myself to write redundant workouts that I don’t have any passion for anymore.

Which brings me to my next point: My passion for writing new character posts may be gone, but my passion for helping people, and the website itself, and our wonderful community are all here to stay.  The website isn’t going anywhere, ever.  Our fitness group on Facebook is still going strong and growing (and I will be continuing to grow it, don’t worry.)  I’ll still be answer comments and questions here on the blog, and I’m more than happy to come up with customized paid plans for people who want to go that extra mile.  The three most recent eBooks will be on sale in perpetuity to help with the hosting costs for the site.  I’m just…not producing any more content for this site anymore, or for the YouTube channel.

It’s been an amazing ride, but I’m really looking forward to the next big journey in my life.  Speaking of which, if you’re ever in New Jersey, definitely stop by Hero Academy Fitness and jump in on a workout with us!  I’m going to be focusing on growing my itty bitty superhero gym into a big, strong superhero gym in the coming years, and I’d love for you all to be part of that process, just like every single one of you are a part of Be a Game Character.

Thank you so much for the support you’ve all given me and my family over this past eight years.  I love you all.

Live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome.

Dan Wallace

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Goku’s pretty jacked, but he’s not ENORMOUS (with the exception of Super Saiyan stage 2/3 [which is different from Super Saiyan 2, if you know your Dragonball Z lore.]) In fact, in Super Saiyan God and Super Saiyan Blue, he’s arguably a little slimmer than he usually is (especially compared to other Super Saiyan forms.)  With that said, he’s still superhumanly strong, fast, agile, and durable.  We want to build all of these things, while maintaining good, solid muscle mass.

Please note! This workout is going to be one designed to give you the body aesthetics and approximate human equivalent of Goku.  This workout will be very different from what you see Goku doing on the show, as Goku’s workouts on the show will not give you the body (or impressive physical attributes) that Goku has!

As always, our workout determines our strength and performance, but our diet determines our size and shape.  For an intro to nutrition principles, check out Macros and You!  If you’re starting out on the heavier side, I’d definitely recommend starting by cutting down your body fat percentage a bit.  The Secret to Burning Fat will help with that.  On the other hand, if you’re on the slimmer side and you’re looking to bulk up, check out The Secret to Building Mass.

As with all workouts, you’re going to want to Warm Up before every session, and Cool Down afterwards.

Note: This workout, like most, is designed to easily plug into the RPG Fitness workout system.  For the weightlifting portions, stick with the guidelines for “The Warrior Workout.”

Equipment Needed:

Power Rack

Bench

Barbell and Weights

Pull Up Bar

Weighted Vest

Strength

Style:
Station –  Perform all sets of an exercise before moving on to the next exercise.  Rest 1-3 minutes between sets.

Saiyan Strength A:

3×5 Back Squat (start with bodyweight squats if necessary) 1×5 Deadlift 3×5 Bench Press 3×5-10 Chin Ups (start with chair assisted if necessary, then start adding weight via backpack/vest/weight belt when 3×10 gets easy for you)

3×5-10 Hanging Knee Raises (upgrade to straight-leg raises when 3×10 gets easy)

Saiyan Strength B:

3×5 Back Squat (start with bodyweight squats if necessary) 3×5 Hang Cleans 3×5 Overhead Barbell Press 3×5-10 One-Armed Dumbbell Rows

3×10-15 second Planks

Saiyan Strength C:

3×5 Back Squat (start with bodyweight squats if necessary) 1×5 Deadlift 3×5-10 Incline Dumbbell Press 3×5-10 Chin Ups 3×5-10 Arnold Presses

3×10-15 second Planks

Saiyan Strength Notes:

The Saiyan strength level workouts are designed to build you a solid base in strength and conditioning, with compound exercises focused on core strength movements.  On the saiyan strength workouts, the weight you’re lifting should be increased by a minimum of five pounds per exercise, per week. Meaning if you have 100 lbs on the bar for your back squats one week, you should have 105 lbs on the bar by the same day next week at the latest, or during your next workout at the earliest.  As you get stronger, it will become harder and harder to go up by five pounds every week and still hit your set/rep goals.

Cardio

Saiyan Cardio A:

30-60 minute Run (start with walking if running for that long is difficult for you, gradually work your way up to running)

Saiyan Cardio B:

20 minute Run, three minutes easy pace, one minute hard pace, repeat five times.

Saiyan Cardio C:

Circuit: 20 second Sprint 10 second Jog 20 speed Skaters (10 times each side) 20 Calf Bounces (go for height) Rest 30 seconds

Repeat four times.

Cardio Notes:

Three types of cardio!  Cardio A is for building your long-term stamina and cardiovascular health.  Cardio B is for increasing your overall speed over longer distances (think Goku running on Snake Way,) Cardio C is for combat maneuverability, explosive speed, and anaerobic conditioning!

Schedule:

Day 1: Strength A Day 2: Cardio A Day 3: Strength B Day 4: Cardio B Day 5: Strength C Day 6: Cardio C

Day 7: Rest

Schedule Notes:

This is a heavy duty regimen.  When you’re first starting out, you might want to drop “Cardio B” and just rest on that day, then gradually work it in as you get more comfortable with the workout.  As I mentioned, rest is important, and as always you should be paying attention to your body.  Dial it back if you need to one week, so you don’t have to skip the next month of training due to an injury from overtraining.

That’s it for the Goku workout!  I hope you enjoy it!  We’ll see you again on Monday with The Skills of a Saiyan Warrior! Live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

The Best Dan Wallace

Bowser Quick Nav Links:
Character Spotlight: Bowser
The Bowser Workout

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Name:  Bowser

Games(s): Super Mario Bros. series, Mario Kart series, Super Smash Bros. series, Mario Party series, various cameos

Skills/Attributes:

• Big
• Commanding
• Strong
• Selfish
• Fiery

Overview:  

Bowser is one of the most iconic characters in the gaming world.  He’s been around for about as long as games have been popular, and is the most well known antagonist in the world by far.  He’s appeared in so many games that I couldn’t even begin to list them here, as well as TV shows, comics, and even movies (oh god).  It’s only natural that we take a look at what makes King Koopa tick.

First off, Bowser is big, and I mean BIG.  In every multiplayer game he’s in, he’s always one of the biggest, heaviest, strongest characters.  It gets even more ridiculous in the actual Mario games, where sometimes he comes close to planet-sized (or at least Godzilla sized).  He’s also incredibly powerful, durable, and dangerous.  Bowser suits his own needs first, and everyone else’s second.  This, plus his insatiable desire to rule the Mushroom Kingdom/World/Universe usually puts him squarely in the path of Mario and his do-gooder buddies.

In terms of archetype, Bowser definitely crashes his way into the Juggernaut class, under the Tank archetype.  This dude is gonna smash his way to victory every time, and he doesn’t much care who gets in his way.  Let’s take a look at his skills.

Size Matters

Bowser is the big koopa in charge, and he knows it.  His combat moves, with the exception of his fire breath, all focus on throwing his weight around, using body slams, huge claw slashes, and beefy headbutts to smash through his opponents.  If I had to pick a good martial art for Bowser, I would go with Sumo, Combat Sambo, Freestyle Wrestling, or Kodokan Judo (maybe with a few pro wrestling moves mixed in there, hahaha).

In addition to a good heavy workout program (which we’ll cover on Friday), you’ll also want to eat.  A lot.  Obviously you don’t want to eat crap, but you definitely want to be looking at The Big Guy Diet.  Remember, working out decides your fitness, how you eat decides your size (roughly).  Now, I’ve also had some people voice concerns that The Big Guy Diet is a bit too pricey.  While it’s true it’s going to be more expensive than a calorie restrictive diet, you can actually get tons of calories relatively cheaply.  Your favorite foods are going to be chicken, rice, beans, eggs, and olive oil.  Granted, this is oversimplifying, but sticking with those, a good protein supplement, and whatever veggies you can fit in, and you can pack some serious calories and protein into your diet.

King Koopa

Bowser is the leader of his own army.  Seriously.  That’s not too frequently emphasized in the video game world, since Mario games aren’t particularly known for their in-depth storytelling, but it’s quite apparent that Bowser has some serious loyalty from his koopa baddie subjects.  Even after getting kicked out of his own castle in Super Mario RPG, he still has die-hard followers drilling with him when Mario and Co. happen upon the evicted King.

This kind of loyalty is earned, not bought.  Bowser rules with an iron fist, sure, but if he mistreated his “subjects,” all the time, he wouldn’t get any real loyalty out of them, just a begrudging following that would dissipate as soon as he lost power.  Instead, even after being defeated by Mario time and time again, Bowser still has followers.

There’s plenty of books and stories out there on leadership, but if I had to shorten Bowser’s preferred method of rule I would probably sum it up thus:

Explicitly reward good behavior, and crush insubordination absolutely.

Have you ever had a boss who was a hard-ass, but you really enjoyed working for?  How about one that you couldn’t stand?  What was the difference between the two?  Most likely, it was consistency, and fairness.  Bowser may be selfish in regards to himself, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be unfair or inconsistent with his subjects.  If you randomly act like a jerk to people under you, they won’t appreciate it.  However, if you have very clearly delineated lines about what they should and should not do, and you punish the crossing of those lines near-absolutely, but reward good behavior universally, you will most likely be perceived as “tough yet fair.”

That’s the kind of person that people can rally behind, and also the kind of person no one wants to cross.

An Iron Fist

Bowser’s claws are some of his most fearsome assets.  He uses them to grab, smash, and crush his opponents.  They can be quite intimidating even when not being actively used in a violent manner.  You may not have giant claws on the end of your arms, but you can build power in your hands.   It can be useful, too, especially when interacting with other people.  In social situations, people react much more favorably to a firm handshake (note: firm, not bone-crushing), whether it comes from a woman or a man.  Men will also sometimes get a ‘feel’ for another guy by seeing how they react to an extra-firm handshake.  If you can reciprocate, it subconsciously inspires respect in the other person.

In a combat sense, strong hands are an awesome attribute, especially in the martial arts I listed above.  Getting a solid grip on your opponent can be invaluable, especially since most street fights and self defense situations will involve some sort of a clinch or ground fight.

We’ll talk more about hand strength in the workout section, but suffice it to say, we’re going to be building you your own claws.

Fire Breath

Okay, so stop brushing your teeth.  Ever.  Eat lots of garlic.  Boom.

No, seriously though, fire breathing is really awesome.  Fun to see, and from what I’ve heard fun to do.  You’ve probably seen these folks before, filling their mouths with flammable liquids and spitting them at torches.  I’m going to link to a few guides here, but with the disclaimer that you should not attempt to teach yourself fire breathing, or learn fire breathing on your own.  That’s a nice way to burn your face off.  Seriously.  Find an experienced practitioner to work with. 

Where do you find an experienced fire breather?  Good question!  You want to see if you’ve got any poi or fire arts communities in your area.  Google is probably your best friend here.  Beyond this, you can also see if there’s any stage musicians in your area, these guys frequently do fire breathing as well.  Here’s a few communities to start looking in:

Home of Poi Community Forums

Poi Subreddit

Fire Arts Subreddit

And some tutorials to give you an idea of what fire breathing involves (but again, please do not practice solo):

Home of Poi Fire Breathing Tutorial

Fire Breathing FAQ

Happy burning!  =D

What’s Next?

The Bowser Workout is coming up on Friday, and hopefully I’ll have the videos done in time to go live with the write up!  I’ll see you in two days!  In the meantime, stop in on the forums and say hey!  Until next time, remember to live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace

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So!  If we’re building the body of an amazon we want to be strong, fast, and agile!  Wonder Woman, arguably the greatest of the Amazons, is certainly no exception.  As such, we’re going to be moving some heavy weight, but also working on some bodyweight and plyometric stuff for agility, speed, and conditioning purposes.

Now, when it comes to body composition, Wonder Woman is built, but she’s not massive.  She’s got a lean, strong physique with GREAT muscular definition, and we know that bodies like that are built in the kitchen!  Check out Macros and You! for an intro to proper nutrition!  However, if you’re ready to really become an Amazon, then you’ll want to grab RPG Fitness as soon as you are able.

As with all workouts, you’re going to want to Warm Up before every session, and Cool Down afterwards.

Note: This workout, like most, is designed to easily plug into the RPG Fitness workout system.  For the weightlifting portions, stick with the guidelines for “The Warrior Workout.”

Equipment Needed: Barbell Bench Squat Rack Pull Up Bar

Backpack, Weighted Vest, or Weight Belt

Strength

Style:
Station –  Perform all sets of an exercise before moving on to the next exercise.  Rest 1-3 minutes between sets.

Strength A:

5×5 Back Squat (start with bodyweight squats if necessary) 5×5 Bench Press 5×5 Pull Ups (start with chair assisted if necessary, then start adding weight via backpack/vest/weight belt when 5×5 gets easy for you) 5×5-10 Push Ups (start with kneeling, then move to clapping push ups when these get easy) 5×5-10 Second Handstand Holds (perform these against a wall at first, then move to freestanding as you get better) 3×3-5 Handstand Push Ups (start with pike push ups, work up to these)

5×5-10 Russian Twists (start unweighted, then start holding progressively heavier weight plates)

Strength B:

5×5 Deadlift 5×5 Overhead Dumbbell Press 5×5 One-Armed Dumbbell Rows 3×5-10 Dumbbell Skull Crushers 3×5-10 Dumbbell Bicep Curls 3×5-10 Hanging Leg Lifts

5×15 second Sprints (rest for 15-30 seconds between each sprint)

Strength Notes:

So, we’re going with a full body routine with both workouts, but attacking the muscle groups a bit differently.  Workout A begins with squats, the king of all exercises, then goes into upper body work, finishing out with some agility and core work.  Workout B begins with Hades’ favorite exercise, the deadlift, and then moves on for some single arm dumbbell work to help ensure even upper body development, followed by some core work and sprints to build massive Amazonian speed.

Cardio

Level 1 (Beginner):

20-30 minute Walk

Level 2 (Intermediate):

20-30 minute Jog

Level 3 (Advanced):

30 minute Run (Try to get 3 miles in in half an hour)

Level 4 (Amazon):

30 minute Run (Shoot for at least 3.5 miles in half an hour)

Cardio Notes:

Our strength training is already pretty legs heavy, so we’re not going super hard for the cardio.  We’re just looking to build good cardiovascular fitness and stamina.  If you’ve not able to run, you can sub in biking, swimming, or elliptical work.  The idea is just to keep your heart rate at a good elevation for thirty minutes or so.

Schedule:

Day 1: Strength A Day 2: Cardio Day 3: Strength B Day 4: Rest Day 5: Strength A Day 6: Cardio

Day 7: Rest

Schedule Notes:

We’re pretty leg heave with our strength work, so feel free to take an extra rest day on Day 2 instead of cardio, if you need to.

That’s it for the Wonder Woman workout!  I hope it gives you the strength to rival the Greek gods!  I’ll see you again on Monday with The Skills of the Amazon Warrior!  Live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace

Link Quick Navigation Links:
Character Breakdown: Link
The Link Workout
The Skills of Link
The Courage of Link

Name: Link
Game(s): The Legend of Zelda Series, the Super Smash Brothers series, assorted game cameos.
Skills/Attributes:

• Courageous
• Athletic
• Tenacious
• Resourceful
• Swordsman
• Archer
• Equestrian
• Honorable

Summary:
Sorry for the brief break there, folks, Skyrim could just not be denied!  We will be getting in that post on personal acceptance and growth sometime soon, but for now, we’re due for another character profile!  So, with Skyward Sword releasing this week, we take a look at Link, from the Legend of Zelda series!
Link is really our first, honest-to-goodness hero.  Ezio and Udyr both kind of fit the anti-hero archetype a bit better, and while Chun Li and Donkey Kong are definitely good guys, they are rather personally motivated by either revenge or competitiveness.  Link is really the first character we’ve got that really lays it all on the line for other people, sacrificing his own well-being for people he barely knows.  He is, in the video game world, the penultimate “knight in shining armor,” and is one of the oldest characters in the video gaming world.

So what is there to say about Link?  As the bearer of the triforce of courage, his bravery against insurmountable odds and gigantic foes is really what defines him.  He is tenacious, resourceful, and honorable.  Link is defined less by his individual skills, but rather, by the deeds he has done.  He is an excellent swordsman, of course, but he’s not known for his fantastic swordplay.  He is instead known for the difficult situations he encounters, and the way he resolves problems.

Link is a lean, fast, fighter-type character, and we’re going to look at a workout focused on battling the day away in unfamiliar places, and having the stamina, endurance, and strength to win out.  It’s never really appreciated that video game characters spend the whole day running, IN ADDITION to all the other feats they accomplish.  We’re going to shine a spotlight on this for our workout.

We’re going to go a bit more deeply into swordplay than we have before for our skills section, as well as taking a look at using your surroundings and tools you have available to their utmost capabilities.  Link’s toolbox is deep and varied, and he’s got new toys to play with every game.  We’re going to take a look at how you can quickly learn new skills and abilities.

Finally, for our philosophy bit we’re going to take a look at what it means to be truly courageous, and how to be a compassionate, chivalrous hero in the modern-day world.

That’s what’s on tap for this week, folks.  I’ll see you tomorrow for The Link Workout!  Until then, continue to be awesome!

Dan “DaRatmastah” Wallace

Link, The Legend of Zelda and all  property therein are © Nintendo.

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Game: All Kirby games.  Smash Bros.  Cameos everywhere

Archetype: God

Class: God

“It’d leave you feeling like a pink blob lying on the floor by the end of it.” – Isaac Denbo

“Little dude has the power to throw peeps out of the atmosphere at escape velocity and can fly fast enough to escape the event horizon of a black hole.” – Dan Wallace

“Look upon his Works, ye Mighty, and Despair” – Masahiro Sakurai, Probably

“Who’s Kirby? Behind the flabby façade: A physical powerhouse! A street fighter! A weapon’s expert! He’s whatever the situation demands… He’s cute but, if you cross him, then he’s one tough cream puff.” – Video Game Commercial Guy

Kirby is potentially the strongest video game character ever created.  He’s definitely the strongest character in Nintendo’s roster, at least.  Don’t believe me?  Put some respect on his name. Not enough for you?  Check out his entry in the exhaustively researched science and physics journal, “Death Battle.”

Real talk though, even if you don’t quite buy everything in the above links, Kirby by far has the best power to weight ratio of probably any fictional character we’ve ever covered here on the blog (yes, even Goku – consider that Kirby basically weighs as much as your average balloon, but he punched a hole in a moon.)  This workout is going to be absolutely ridiculous.  You’re going to need to eat and sleep a lot in order to properly recover, so keep that in mind.  General nutrition and body recomposition articles are as follows:

General Nutrition Info:

Lose Weight, Burn Fat:

• The Secret to Burning Fat
• Losing Weight is Not a Side Quest

Build Muscle, Bulk Up:

• The Secret to Building Mass

Before and After Workout Programs:

Buckle up, cupcake.  It’s going to be a wild ride from here on in.

Note: This workout is designed to easily plug into the RPG Fitness workout system.  Use the weight standards for “The Juggernaut Workout.”

Strength:

Equipment Required:

Pull Up Bar

Weighted Vest or Dip Belt

Barbell and Weights

Bench

Power Rack

Heavy Bag

Style: Station –  Perform all sets of an exercise before moving on to the next exercise.  Rest 1-3 minutes between sets.

Workout A:

5×3-5 Back Squats 4×8 Deadlifts SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Bulgarian Split Squats 4×8 Goblet Squats SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Standing Barbell Twists

4×20 Calf Bounces

Workout B:

5×3-5 Bench Press 4×8 Barbell Rows SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Incline Press (Barbell or Dumbbells) 4×8 Weighted Ring Rows SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Weighted Incline Push Ups

4×8 Hanging Knee Raises/Leg Raises/Toes-To-Bar

Workout C:

5×3-5 Deadlifts 4×8 Barbell Push Press SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Hammer Grip Pull Ups (weighted when you need it) 4×8 Hang Cleans SUPERSET WITH 4×8 Dumbbell Strict Press 4×8 Front Squats SUPERSET WITH

4×8 Romanian Deadlifts

Strength Notes:

Kirby is terrifyingly strong.  A single blow from his fist has punched holes in planetoids and moons, accelerated meteorites to super-light speeds, and murdered gods.  He’s thrown multiple objects and beings many times his size out of the atmosphere, and often put them into orbit around other planets.  We cannot begin to match this strength as mere mortals, but this workout should get you as close as a human is able.

Every workout starts with an extremely heavy workout set.  If you can do five sets of five for the exercise, you’re going too light.  You don’t want to fail on a rep, but you should be getting to rep 3 on your last set and saying, “yeah, if I go for 4 I won’t make it, so I’m going to stop now.)  If you can’t get at least three reps on that last set, though, you’re going too heavy.

The workout then proceeds to a bunch of supporting exercises for that main lift, or compounds to hit other areas of your body.  Workout A is primarily legs, Workout B is back and chest, Workout C is Back, Shoulders, and Lower Posterior Chain.  All weights should be such that you can finish the sets/reps recommended, but just barely (one or two reps left in the tank when you’re done.)  Supersets are designed to maximize efficiency and keep your muscle compliments balanced for total-body strength and coordination.

Cardio

Style: Circuit – Perform an exercise, move on to the next exercise, continue until all exercises are performed once.  Rest and repeat as specified.

3 minutes Heavy Bag Work 3 minutes Weapon Drills 30 seconds Battle Ropes OR Kettlebell Swings Rest 30-60 seconds

Repeat 3-6 times

Cardio Notes:

Kirby isn’t really a long distance runner, nor is he particularly fast unless he’s on his warp star or has a particular power he’s absorbed. He is, however, an indestructible space warrior.  So, we’re going to fight a lot.  Bag work is your preference, I’d recommend kickboxing.  Weapon drills are also your preference, but Kirby has a penchant for one handed blades and stuff so I’d recommend a lot of one handed pell work.

Schedule:

Day 1: Workout A Day 2: Cardio Day 3: Workout B Day 4: Rest Day 5: Workout C Day 6: Cardio

Day 7: Rest

Schedule Notes:

Get a lot of sleep, and eat a lot of food.  It’s how Kirby lives, and it’s how you should live, too, if you’re following the Kirby workout program.

That’s it!  I hope you enjoy it!  Come at me with that pink marshmallow of doom hate if you want, I’ll enumerate for you explicitly why Kirby is the strongest and you’re wrong. 

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So, despite what I said in the breakdown post, we’re actually not going to use any weights at all, with the optional exception of leg strength training.  More on that in the “strength training” notes after the workout.  Instead, we’re going to be focused almost exclusively on gymnastics ring exercises.  I feel these really embody the acrobat/gymnast core of Nightwing’s physique and capabilities.  As an added bonus, rings are just plain fun, and they build ridiculous core strength and conditioning.

As usual for diet advice, you’ll want to check out check out Macros and You!  If you’re starting out on the heavier side, I’d definitely recommend starting by cutting down your body fat percentage.  The Secret to Burning Fat will help with that.  On the other hand, if you’re on the slimmer side and you’re looking to bulk up, check out The Secret to Building Mass.  This isn’t really a true mass building workout, but with a solid diet you will definitely put on a good amount of muscle (look at olympic gymnastics who compete on rings if you don’t believe me!)

As with all workouts, you’re going to want to Warm Up before every session, and Cool Down afterwards.  These are especially important for maintaining flexibility and mobility, things Nightwing has in spades.

Strength:

Equipment Needed:
Gymnastics Rings (and something to hang them from – I just ceiling-mounted mine)
Power Rack (optional – see notes)
Barbell and Weights (optional – see notes)

Style:
Station –  Perform all sets of an exercise before moving on to the next exercise.  Rest 1-3 minutes between sets.

Level 1 (Beginner):

3×5-10 Bodyweight Squats
3×5-10 Kneeling Push Ups 3×5-10 Ring Reverse Row Sit-Back (knees bent) 3×5-10 second Ring Top Position Holds

3×5-10 Hanging Knee Raises(do these from the top position holds if you can!)

Level 2 (Intermediate):

5×5-10 Bodyweight Squats 5×5-10 Ring Reverse Row Sit-Back (straight leg) 5×3-5 Ring Dips (Rest your feet in front of you on a chair to make these easier at first) 5×3-5 Ring Pull Ups 5×5-10 second Ring Top Position Tuck Holds

5×5-10 second Tuck Front Lever Holds

Level 3 (Advanced):

5×3-5 Pistol Squats 5×5-10 second Ring Tuck Planche Holds 5×3-5 Tuck Lever Ring Rows 5×5-15 Ring Dips 5×5-15 Ring Pull Ups 5×5-10 second Ring Top Position L-Sit Holds

5×5-10 second Front Lever Swings

Level 4 (Nightwing):

5×5-15 Pistol Squats 5×5-10 second Ring Planche Holds 5×5-15 Tuck Lever Ring Rows (do these from a full lever if you’re a total badass) 5×5-15 Ring Muscle Ups 5×5-10 second Ring Top Position L-Sit Holds

5×10-20 second Front Lever Holds

Strength Notes:

So, despite what I said in the initial breakdown post, we have eschewed almost ALL exercises except for bodyweight/ring based stuff.  Don’t think that means this workout is easy, it is very, very hard at the upper levels.  My big exception here would be the squats.  It felt silly to include weights for a single exercise, but if you have access to the equipment, I HIGHLY recommend alternating heavy back squats and deadlifts (do squats on one strength day, then deadlifts on the next, alternating) instead of the bodyweight/pistol squats.  Sets of 5×5, at a high enough weight that that last set is a definite struggle.  Nothing will make your legs and lower posterior chain stronger than good old barbell exercises.

With that said, if you don’t have access to the equipment, that’s okay, do the bodyweight variants until you do.  You’ll also be getting a lot of leg work in on your cardio days, so don’t sweat it too much!

Also, on the ring stuff: have fun!  Don’t just do the exercises as prescribed, start playing around with other motions and movement patterns.  There are TONS of great exercises you can do on rings, and they’re just plain fun to goof around on once you start developing some solid upper body strength.  Enjoy it!

Cardio:

Level 1 (Beginner):

20 minute Walk/Jog 5 minute Rest

Circuit:

3×3-5 Tuck Jumps
3×3-5 Jumping Lunges
3×3-5 Speed Skaters
3×5-10 Calf Bounces
1 minute Rest

Level 2 (Intermediate):

20-30 minute Jog 5 minute Rest

Circuit:

5×5-10 Tuck Jumps
5×5-10 Jumping Lunges
5×5-10 Speed Skaters
5×10-15  Calf Bounces
20 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Rest

Level 3 (Advanced):

30 minute Run (shoot for a sub-8 minute Mile) 5 minute Rest

Circuit:

5×10 Burpees (with tuck jump and push up)
5×10 Jumping Lunges (go for height on these)
5×10 Speed Skaters (go for distance on these)
5×15 Calf Bounces (go for height on these)
20 Jumping Jacks (as fast as possible)
1 minute Rest

Level 4 (Nightwing):

30 minute Run (shoot for a sub-7 minute Mile) 5 minute Rest

Circuit:

5×15 Burpees (with tuck jump and clapping push up)
5×15 Jumping Lunges (go for height on these)
5×15 Speed Skaters (go for distance on these)
5×20 Calf Bounces (go for height on these)
30 Jumping Jacks (as fast as possible)
1 minute Rest

Cardio Notes:

This is going to fry your lower body AND your lungs.  As this workout is almost entirely plyometric, it’s going to be rough on your joints at first, especially if you’re overweight.  Listen to your body, and progress slowly.  Jumping right into a heavy duty workout like this and pushing yourself too hard too fast is a good way to get shin splints and other unpleasant side effects.  Listen to your body, make sure you stretch after every workout, and get plenty of rest.

Schedule:

Day 1: Strength Day 2: Cardio Day 3: Strength Day 4: Rest Day 5: Strength Day 6: Cardio

Day 7: Rest

Schedule Notes:

Feel free to take an extra rest day on day 3 if you’re just starting out.  Two strength and cardio sessions a week is solid if you’re just beginning.  With that said, once you’re feeling up to it, you can do an extra cardio workout on day 4 if you’d like to pare down to just one rest day a week.  Listen to your body, get plenty of sleep, and remember that taking a day or two off from training to be careful is better than taking a month or two off because you injured yourself.

That’s it for the Nightwing workout!  I hope it helps you push yourself to peak human performance!  I’ll see you again on Monday with The Skills of Nightwing!  Live boldly, change the world, and continue to be awesome!

The Best Dan Wallace